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Exhibition Statement
Speaking from the heart I have felt adrift artistically over the last few years. It was hard to commit the time to develop a concept when I felt I was torn so deeply between financial security, raising young children and battling a growing list of health issues. There was no such thing as balance in my life it was just about grabbing at the opportunity as they presented themselves and making it fit in. The process was often to my own detriment. Behind the scenes I was getting sicker, things that were underlying conditions that the process of pregnancy and birth brought to the forefront. Big changes have happened over the last 4 years. I now have two children, we moved from our house amongst the treetops to high density living, I started teaching again, I closed a handmade business. I started to trust and learnt to lean on others again for support.
It is important to acknowledge the effects of COVID on my personal life. For me it forced me to stop. Some may laugh as my stopping was really just a slow jog instead of a full speed, but what it gave me was time. Time to realise just how much having a chronic illness impacts oneself. It has been officially 2 years since my diagnosis with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) and the whole journey has been a learning one. Medically it is about treating the symptoms. We have tried this with medical and natural options. It has been a long and mostly unfruitful journey. I embrace the good days and wallow on the couch on the bad ones.
But something important happened during our mandated lockdown. The force stop. The can’t escape it all with busy work. I realised I needed to acknowledge it, stop the dismissive attitude and stare the reality of it in the face.
POTS is a form of dysautonomia — a disorder of the autonomic nervous system. And if you would be interested in more here is a link the things that happen automatically no longer do for me. I am acutely aware of when my blood is not circulated around my limbs, when I have low blood oxygen levels, I cannot remember the last time I slept and felt rested due to tachycardia each night just because I was sleeping in one position. The parts of your life that should not occupy time and thought is not always on my mind. Planning around symptoms it’s now my first thought.
Lockdown forced me to sit and acknowledge this new normal of mine. As a form of escapism I began grabbing watercolour and paper and just doodling as I did other things. The experimentation quickly grew into a new body of work exploring the role of the autonomic nervous system and the way that which the human body subconsciously responds, catalogues memories, daily processes within the body through utilizing repetitive elements & drawing parallels between technique and metaphor.
Automatic drawing at its core is about finding the space to let go and create without thought in hopes of linking to the unconscious mind.
In psychology, “automatism” refers to involuntary actions and processes not under the control of the conscious mind—for example, dreaming, breathing, or a nervous tic.
It seemed that without actively trying to pursue a creative concept this one fell into my hands, drawing parallels between technique and metaphor. My artistic practice as always centred around a selfish motivation on my journey to under identity/mental health/place ORBS is by way of artistic force my own body's way of telling me I need to consider, process and acknowledge the changes in my body.
Shapes and designs are informed by external factors. Lines and shapes around me. Spaces of urban architecture and I see my works highlighting geometric patterns. Green spaces influence organic patterns and designs. Colour palettes are completely intuitive. Repetitions tell a story, they are indicative of artistic styles and compositions.
In moments of automatic drawing my brain switches from active to passive thinking space. This is the way I unlock those swirling thoughts that sometimes drown me every day. Through ORBS I used this time as a gateway to understand and question things that although on my mind 24/7 I placed them into a dismissive space not wanting to confront exactly how health has impacted my decision making process, my daily liveability and my personal goals. Some days were hard, honest, grounding. Really taking stock of just what this new normal looks like was hard to digest. Other days were empowering, releasing that without all of this I probably would have kept on with my head down and never really stopping to just breathe it all in and take stock.
ORBS is an ongoing and evolving series of work.
It is important to acknowledge the effects of COVID on my personal life. For me it forced me to stop. Some may laugh as my stopping was really just a slow jog instead of a full speed, but what it gave me was time. Time to realise just how much having a chronic illness impacts oneself. It has been officially 2 years since my diagnosis with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) and the whole journey has been a learning one. Medically it is about treating the symptoms. We have tried this with medical and natural options. It has been a long and mostly unfruitful journey. I embrace the good days and wallow on the couch on the bad ones.
But something important happened during our mandated lockdown. The force stop. The can’t escape it all with busy work. I realised I needed to acknowledge it, stop the dismissive attitude and stare the reality of it in the face.
POTS is a form of dysautonomia — a disorder of the autonomic nervous system. And if you would be interested in more here is a link the things that happen automatically no longer do for me. I am acutely aware of when my blood is not circulated around my limbs, when I have low blood oxygen levels, I cannot remember the last time I slept and felt rested due to tachycardia each night just because I was sleeping in one position. The parts of your life that should not occupy time and thought is not always on my mind. Planning around symptoms it’s now my first thought.
Lockdown forced me to sit and acknowledge this new normal of mine. As a form of escapism I began grabbing watercolour and paper and just doodling as I did other things. The experimentation quickly grew into a new body of work exploring the role of the autonomic nervous system and the way that which the human body subconsciously responds, catalogues memories, daily processes within the body through utilizing repetitive elements & drawing parallels between technique and metaphor.
Automatic drawing at its core is about finding the space to let go and create without thought in hopes of linking to the unconscious mind.
In psychology, “automatism” refers to involuntary actions and processes not under the control of the conscious mind—for example, dreaming, breathing, or a nervous tic.
It seemed that without actively trying to pursue a creative concept this one fell into my hands, drawing parallels between technique and metaphor. My artistic practice as always centred around a selfish motivation on my journey to under identity/mental health/place ORBS is by way of artistic force my own body's way of telling me I need to consider, process and acknowledge the changes in my body.
Shapes and designs are informed by external factors. Lines and shapes around me. Spaces of urban architecture and I see my works highlighting geometric patterns. Green spaces influence organic patterns and designs. Colour palettes are completely intuitive. Repetitions tell a story, they are indicative of artistic styles and compositions.
In moments of automatic drawing my brain switches from active to passive thinking space. This is the way I unlock those swirling thoughts that sometimes drown me every day. Through ORBS I used this time as a gateway to understand and question things that although on my mind 24/7 I placed them into a dismissive space not wanting to confront exactly how health has impacted my decision making process, my daily liveability and my personal goals. Some days were hard, honest, grounding. Really taking stock of just what this new normal looks like was hard to digest. Other days were empowering, releasing that without all of this I probably would have kept on with my head down and never really stopping to just breathe it all in and take stock.
ORBS is an ongoing and evolving series of work.
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This project was made possible by the Australian Government’s Regional Arts Fund, provided through Regional Arts Australia, administered in Queensland by Flying Arts Alliance.
